Amity in me
by MarlyCat
Summary: A story that follows the movie. It's about a girl who started out in Amity and is pressed with the choice of all the other Factions. As she interacts with different people(Made up and ones from the movie), she tries to think for herself and choose what she wants. I don't want to give too much of the story away. Please read
1. Chapter 1

Amity in Me: Part 1

Divergent Fanfic by MarlyCat

I guess you could say it all started when I was born. Nothing out of the usual, as they may say, except for who my mother was. She was Johanna; a proud and strong willed women who could calm just about everyone. She was someone I looked up to when I was younger; if not only because there was no one else I could look up to. If you didn't know, everyone in our city was separated into factions. I won't bore you with the details of that, I'm assuming you already know. But just know that where there is safety within your faction family, there is also confusion. There are restless nights of trying to find out who you are and what you are meant to do. Was I solely meant to tend to the farm every day until I die? Was I meant to lead Amity like my mother did; so kind and just? Or do I get to define who I am? All those questions were swimming in my mind as the day of the test grew closer.

I could tell by the way my mother had paraded me around that she wanted me to stay in Amity. It would be a very cushy position; no doubt about that. But I didn't feel like that was me.

"Of course, it is your choice Gwendolyn. I'm only here to let you know what your future can hold." She would say.

And I listened. I seriously considered the option. I was good at farming. Better than most girls my age; even better than some men. It wasn't that I could lift things better. It was that I could go for longer or taking the pain that I might face head on.

"You have patience, my child. That is a rare gift among people, even within Amity. You must use it to take control of the situation and not let it take over you." My mother said.

I smiled when she said that, wiping the sweat off my forehead. It was a nice way of putting it.

The day of the test was one of the most nerve racking day of my life. When it came time for morning chores, I was falling behind. I had to have the other workers double back to keep on schedule.

"Something wrong Gwendolyn?" asked Fredrick, one of my closest friends. He was older than me and had already gone through the ceremony. He stuck to his roots and stayed with Amity. I often wanted to ask him why he did, thinking he was far too smart for farm work, but I know we are not allowed to ask such things.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit nervous I guess. I mean, this is a big step and I want to make sure I take it as serious as possible." I answered, dropping more seeds into the ground. He laughed, swinging his hand to hit my back.

"I don't think I've ever seen you not be serious. You're built like a tank. Everything is serious to you" he said jokingly. He steps in front of me and put both hands on my shoulder. He kneeled down to look me in the eye.

"Trust the test Gwen. If you do that, you have nothing to worry about." He said.

The smile on his face put my mind at ease. I took a deep breath and nodded. He was right. I tend to work myself up about the little things. It's time to let the chips fall where they may. It was time for me to trust the test.

When we collected in our appropriate lines, I couldn't help but look at all the other options. I never do get a good chance to take a look. Everyone seemed so normal; I could point out people that reminded me of friends I had in Amity. It's like we are belonged to different dimensions with only a slight knowledge and evidence that the other existed. It felt too surreal to be this close to them.

"Out of your dome for the first time, I see." said an unfamiliar voice.

I turned to see a boy, much taller than me, talking to one of the farmers in my line. I barely even noticed that he crept through to our part of the testing rooms.

"Oh, so you' aren't' going to talk to me? Think you're too good? You know, just because you make food come from the ground doesn't mean-"

"That's enough Candor. Just leave us alone. We are here the same goal here today." I said.

I felt like it was my mother speaking. My voice was calm and non-threatening. I kept gentle eye contact with him, though he seemed offended that I said anything of that nature.

"And here I thought Amity were supposed to be kind and gentle creatures." He mocked, pulling a funny face.

I scoffed, showing him that he would not win this battle.

"And here I thought Candor knew right from wrong." I said.

He rolled his eyes and folded his arms. We stood there for a moment while he collected his thoughts. I couldn't tell what was going through his head; his face didn't give much tell at all.

"You know what? I like you. What's your name?" He asked, stepping closer

"It's Gwendolyn. And you?" I asked, reaching my hand out.

He happily shook it, giving it a firm grip. When I returned the gesture, giving him a quick squeeze, he smiled.

"It's Peter." He said, smirking.

"Well Peter, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the line has moved a significant amount since our meeting. So I think it's best if we get back to them." I mentioned, pointing to the obvious gap.

He looks over at it, pursing his lips and nodding. Without another word, we waves to me as he hurries away to catch up

"You sure have a way with words Gwen." Said Jenna.

Jenna was a peer of mine. I've seen her working in the kitchen; always with a smile on her face. It's hard not to smile with her near. I nod, smirking a bit.

"You just need to learn how to use yours Jenna." I said, patting her shoulder.

She laughed, pulling me in front of her in line, despite the fact that I was well behind her. I looked to see the others reactions, but was shocked to find none. If anything, they seemed a bit happy to see me; a few of them even waved. I sighed and looked ahead.

"You're scared too, aren't you?" she asked.

Her voice was soft and mousy, as if she couldn't tell if she wanted to think it or say it. My hand tensed up a bit, trying to work through the emotions. I could hear myself telling me to be strong for her. I had to set a good example. But what I really wanted to do was scream; to step out of line and walk away as calmly as possible. And when I was far enough away, run back to the dome; run like I never have and hope that no passerby's saw me. Because I knew that I would be crying.

"Gwen? The line is moving."

"What? Oh, right. Sorry about that. What was the question?" I asked, walking forward.

"Are you scared?" She asked.

I nodded slightly, closing my eyes.

"I'm scared because I don't know. I'm scared because I don't want to be told that I don't belong in Amity anymore. I mean, it's all I know. I'm scared I'm going to be an anomaly and have to make a decision. I want…I just…" I stated, flustered.

I massaged my forehead with my fingers, looking down. I could tell she felt bad about asking; she baked up a bit in the middle of my answer.

"I just want to get it over with, you know?" I said.

She nodded, looking into my eyes. She was trying to smile; I could tell. Her lips moved like clockwork, but her eye looked unstable. She looked like she was holding back tears. I patted her on the shoulder again, giving her a smile instead.

"Everything will be okay. Fredrick told me this morning to trust the test. So that is what we are going to do, okay?" I said.

She lit up a bit back to her old said laughed. She breathed deeply with her eyes closed before looking up.

"Right." She cheered; loud enough for everyone to hear.

In the distance, I could see the line clad in Dark colors like red and black shift their gaze to us.

"Yeah! Right!" Some of them hollered, starting a wave of cheering and jumping among them.

I let my gaze stay on them. They looked like a group of very fit and energetic people. I had seen them jump out of a train earlier.

"I could never do that." I whispered to myself.

There was this burning desire to watch them in cluster together in line, talking and laughing. They looked like they have fun. The kind you experience when you are young; scrapping you knees with a smile on your face. They were in charge of our protection; from what is beyond and from what goes on inside. They are the police force, the army, and the hero. I had never seen them in action; I guess you could consider that a good thing. Though I rarely get to come out of the dome area.

The entrance to the testing building was right in front of me. Every hair on the back of my neck began to stand, sending chills down my spine. I felt a gentle hand on my arm. When I looked to see who it was, the grip grew tighter. I put my free hand on top of it and looked down. Jenna was staring blank faced.

"Trust in the test, Jenna. Nothing to be worried about. I'll be waiting for you afterwards, okay?" I assured.

The tester had appeared through the door and motioned for me to follow him. I look to Jenna and smiled. She slowly let go of my arm and watched me step through the door.

Before I go further, I want to say a few things. I wish I had known what was going to happen next. If I did, maybe I could have ducked out the test all together and just go to the ceremony uneducated. I know they would have found me soon enough, but I would have hopped it wouldn't be until after the ceremony. That way, they couldn't do anything then. I could come up with some bullshit lie to get them off my back. I wish I could have been like everyone else. Like Jenna, who was so relieved after her test that she made a batch of her favorite bread. She got Amity and was very excited to hear about it. She said she was happy to stay where she was, with me. And that tore me up inside. It killed me because:

I was DIVERGENT


	2. Chapter 2

Amity in Me: Part 2

I met Jenna outside the testing area. Her expression changed from a worried child to a happy mother. I couldn't help but feel a bit envious of that smile; I felt it sink into my skin as she emerged. I hated this feeling. It was familiar to me, but I hadn't felt it in a very long time.

"You were right all along Gwen. I should have just trusted the test." She said, lifting her hands in the air.

She was spinning around with her palms to the sky; her dark braid swaying in the air as she moved. The look on her face, like always, could brighten up anyone's day. I smiled as I watched her little dance. She glanced at me and stopped. She tilted her head and squinted her eyes at me.

"Wait. Why don't you look relieved?" she asked.

My eyes widened. Was it my face or my lack of excitement that gave it away? I tried to look happy when she came out, but my head was obviously someplace else. My eyes jetting back and forth as I tried to find a reason or excuse.

"Did you get something else?" she asked, persistently.

She hadn't let her eyes look away from mine. I could feel her curiosity taking root. Should I let to her? Though I'm aware of the existence of lying, I try not to do it very often. And never anything as big as this. This is my entire future. But I was told not to tell anyone.

"You must keep this to yourself. No one, not ever you mother, can know of this. I will put you down for Amity. I advise you choose the Faction on your ceremony. Less suspicion if you go that way. You don't know what they will do to people like you." He said with urgency.

I have never been more scared in my life. It's one thing to worry yourself sick, but for one of those fears to actually come true is surreal. I had been told to trust the test, but the test has damned me to a life of hiding. I felt a sudden wave of constriction come over me. My clothes felt tighter, my lungs felt crushed under this new pressure.

"What happens if someone does find out?" I ask.

The tester, after entering a few things into the computer, turned to look me straight in the eye. They were a mix of sad and serious eyes; almost angry.

"They will kill you." He stated, and then turned back to the computer.

I backed away at first, looking at him. I was waiting for him to go out and expand on that but the silence confirmed that he would not. That was the last thing he had said to me. As I walked away, I wondered why he did not turn me in. Will he turn me in at a later time? Why did he in directly save my life? He was Abnegation after all; he probably felt sorry for me. And I knew that I needed his pity to survive.

"No, it's not that. I got Amity. It just… Kind of funny that it's all over. We stressed so much about it and then poof; it's over." I said.

That thought was funny. I forced a nervous laugh to relieve the tension. Jenna laughed along with me, putting her hand on my arm and bending over.

"That's so true. It's like a weight off your chest though, right?" she said

I nodded, sighing. If only she knew that it put more weight on me. So many questions that I could never ask formed in my head and I had to put a smile on my face and pretend that it's another day. Could I honestly do that? Do I have a choice?

Back at the dome, life seemed to carry on as usual except for me. I felt aware of my every action; being fearful that I will let something slip. My actions were stiff and calculated; my words were thoughtful and robotic. I hated this feeling. Since me and Jenna came back, there were all these questions on how it went and how it felt. I gave my generic answer while Jenna spiced with the details. In the midst of it, I had to excuse myself and go to my room. I couldn't take the stories or the smiles. After a while, they all started to blur together. When I did make it into my room, I kind of just plopped on my bed and curled up in a ball. It took everything in me not to cry. And even then, I could feel a few tears trickle down my face and into the pillow.

I don't remember when, but I had fallen asleep somehow that night. When I woke up, bright and early, I almost forgot. I did my chores, same as usual, and went into the dining area to grab lunch.

"Eat quickly. We have to get to the ceremony soon." Said my mother.

I froze. My body began to ache and stiffen up as I reached for the fork. I felt like an open book; I couldn't hide my nervousness at all. My mother took this time to reach for my hand, causing me to drop the fork.

"It's okay. You have every right to choose whatever Faction you think is best. No matter what, I will still love you; you will still be my daughter." She said.

I sighed, looking up at her. Her eyes were so soft and understanding. They glistened in the sunlight as if she was the world. And she was, to me. I could never leave this sense of comfort; I'd be crazy if I did. I only nodded, smiling genuinely for the first time since the test.

"I know. I love you." I whispered, putting my hand on hers.

That was the last thing she had said to me inside the dome. I hurried with my lunch and walked over to the assembly room with the others. My mother sat away from me in the section with the people who were already set in their factions. I looked at the front where the head of the Erudite began her speech. I wasn't fully listening. I heard her say things like "Permanent "and things like that, adding to my fears. I looked around the room to see each faction sitting quietly.

The Erudite were sitting up and professional with their blue suits. I've always noticed how their clothes look so nice and pressed compared to everyone else's. Candor was the closest to their style. Then was Amity with their rugged clothes made to work. Nothing pressed or folded. As well as Dauntless and Abnegation. Very casual. With my body type, I felt I would look better in those clothes; more concealed and normal. But this wasn't about fashion; this is about my future. Which Faction would I feel safer with?

Candor was out. I couldn't be truly honest in that Faction with my secret

Erudite was out. They were far too smart to trick as well. I feel like I would fall behind

Abnegation was out. I couldn't focus of being selfless; I've been thinking about only myself the past 20 hours.

That only left Amity and Dauntless

Amity was safe, but still with a fear. Fear of lying and putting my mother in danger. Fear of not being able to fit back into a place I already took up space in.

So I Choose

As they called my name, all eyes were on me. I stood up, and quickly made my way to the front. I grabbed the blade and pressed it to my palm. I ignored the pair; it was nothing new to me. I've cut myself so many times on farming equipment that it almost felt natural. I took another look at my options and closed my eyes for one moment. My mother face flashed to me, repeating "You will always be my daughter." I took a deep breath and walked over to the hot coals near the end of the table.

AND WITH THAT, I LET MY BLOOD DRIP ONTO THE DAUNTLESS BOWL AND HEARD THE SIZZLE OF MY FUTURE.


	3. Chapter 3

Amity in Me: Part 3

After the ceremony, my ears began to ring. I didn't hear the clapping for the assembly as I sat with my new faction. I saw them, there is no doubt about that, but it all felt like a dream. I remember the Dauntless faction patting me on the back a bit and welcoming me like I was their long lost sister and having this feeling of happiness fill my body.

I had forgotten those fears that were causing me to lose sleep the night before.

I had forgotten the disappointed look my mother gave me as I crossed the stage.

I had forgotten the wide eye look from Fred and Jenny

I felt safe. Like my new Faction wouldn't let anyone hurt me. And that was what I was looking for. Safety. It's something you are so use to feeling when you were young that you never think that it can be taken from you. I sat down and watched the rest of the ceremony, ears still ringing. I put a smile on my face to keep up appearances, but I didn't really know what was going on.

Once it was over, I followed the others outside. I was like a lost puppy to them. Since I don't venture out of the dome often, I didn't know where anything was. I remember the train that they got off of, so I assumed that was how we were getting back. We had to climb up to the train itself.

"Do you need any help?" asked a man, dressed in black. He had a hand stretched out to me as he hung from the top. I shook my head, grabbing the next rung. Lucky for me, I wasn't new to physical activity, thanks to the fieldwork back at the dome. I looked around and saw a girl in gray still near the bottom. I smiled a bit.

"I think that girl over there does." I say. He laughs a bit, nodding

"Very... Admirable. I think you're gonna do good here." He said, heading down to her. She thanked him and took his hand as I reached the top.

I looked over the edge and marveled at the scenery. I've never been this high up on anything before. The air smelled a bit clearer. I don't know if that was my being awaken to the new surroundings or the lack of dirt and mulch that I was used to. Either way, I loved it. I felt like I could get use to this. I looked to my right and saw where everyone was collecting to catch the train, which was coming in on the right. I noticed that it wasn't stopping; rather it was coming in quicker.

"Get ready!" Someone shouted as the metal cart came closer. My heart was pounding from the sound of the tracks shaking and rattling. Everyone in black began to run parallel to it with their hands out. It was mesmerizing watching them move so fluidly. Hands began to come out the train to catch them, one by one. Finally, something clicked and my feet moved on their own. I wasn't the fastest runner, but that wasn't going to stop me. I began catching up, looking for a hand or handle to latch onto. IN my head, I was chanting "This is it!" and pushed myself harder. I picked up my pace and started inching closer to the train. Everyone was jumping and lunging on. I watched some stumble a bit and miss their target. But no one gave up. I wasn't going to the first. I was not going to be left behind! I look to my left and see a familiar hand reaching for me. It was Peter. I lock onto his eyes and take his hand. Instead of jumping, he pulled me in with one big tug.

On the train, my breathing was a wreck. I was sweating, smiling, and coughing. But I wasn't the only one. Some were laughing, some were leaning against a rail, and some were in the fetal position. I looked to Peter once my vision stopped shaking.

"Good to see you again Gwen." He said, smirking. I only nod, giving him a thumbs up.

"Thank you for getting me. I was afraid I wasn't going to make it." I said, sighing. He patted me on the back harshly.

"I wouldn't let you fall behind. We're friends now, aren't we?" he asked. I stood up straight, whipping my eyes of sweat.

"I guess we are." I said.

Friends.

Jenna and Fred were my closest friends. I knew everyone at the dome. Knew their names, their job, and their hobbies. I knew that Jenna loved to cook and bake. I remember seeing her up early morning to bake the bread for the day. She smelled like flour and sunlight all the time. I knew that Fred was testing out different soil compounds, trying to find the best one for each produce we planted. I remember finding him in his little lab in the shed after work. His face use to light up when he made a breakthrough. The more I remember them and their quirks, the more I missed them. I knew I wouldn't see them again; it was forbidden to go back to your old Faction. I was dauntless now. My stomach began to tie into a knot when I came to that realization.

"Hey, what's up?" Peter asked. His faced turned from almost smug to concerned. His eyes softened when he placed a hand on my shoulder. That was the breaking point. Tears started falling from my eyes like water from a hole in a dam. I didn't want to seem weak; I felt like Dauntless was the opposite of that. Everyone else looked so strong and steady like a tree. I wanted that. I needed that.

"Nothing. Still processing everything I guess. I'll be fine." I said. I wanted that to be true with every fiber of my being. This was my choice. I didn't want to regret it right off the bat. I wiped my face and looked at everyone else chatting away over the sound of the train. I had no idea where it was going; I didn't care. It could have unhinged off the track and collide to the ground. It could have came to an abrupt stop, flinging the passengers forward. As long as I was someplace new.

As, as if on cue, then someone shouted form the middle.

"We are coming up to our stop. Get ready to jump"

My eyes widen. I looked out from the same side everyone else was. Nothing but the tops to building were coming up. People in black readied themselves and plunged off. I caught myself screaming a bit, thinking they were going to be hurt. They weren't. They landed on rubble on a long building that was soon ending.

"I guess this is out stop. You ready?" Peter asked. He stood on the edge of the train and lightly gripped the edge. Before I could answer, he jumped, landing on the roof. It was a perfect jump. I panicked as I looked at front. The end was there. It was now or never. I mimicked his stance and closed my eyes; back choice on my part. I took a deep breath and took the first leap of faith out of a million I would take.

When I hit the floor, the air was knocked out of me. I didn't land like Peter or the others. I basically belly flopped at the stop with about 10 feet to spare. Peter came running to me to help me up.

"Gonna have to get use to that." He scoffed, laughing. His clothes were a bit dirty compared to when I met him. Mine, because of my old work in the fields, didn't look much different. My arms were a bit scrapped, but I would live. Everyone had gathered around one of the edges. When we peered over, we saw an opening in the roof of a little building below.

"Alright. The only way into Dauntless is through here. Who wants to go first?" Someone in black asked. I was already numb to the surprises, but I heard a good number of people gasping. Some asked if there was a net. Some asked if they were crazy. It wasn't until a girl, the in grey form before, stepped up. She took off her jacket and stepped closer. My heart stopped as I saw he look back at everyone before jumping. My mind when blank as I looked away. I thought it I couldn't see it; I wouldn't hear her screams and sudden splat as she hit the floor inside. I imagined it would have echoed. But I heard nothing but a light plop. Something was down there, maybe soft. After that, others started to line up and do the same. I stood behind Peter as I watched them drop.

"Okay, you're next." Said a Dauntless. I nodded and held my breath. I tricked myself and said it was like looking from the train tracks; it was just as high up. Once there, I hesitated. I heard groans and complaints from the others behind me. I took one last deep breath and stepped off. The wind was cold against my body as I flew down farther. Once inside, I saw the net that caught everyone else. I was almost afraid it wouldn't hold my weight. But once I made contact, I slid down to the front. There was a man there, holding the next so I could jump off.

"What's your name Amity? You can make a new one, but you can't change it after this." He asked as my feet his the solid floor. I dusted myself off, trying to gather my thoughts. No one said we could change our names; I wish I had more time to think. I could just stay with Gwen; it felt the most natural. But this was a new beginning. A chance to be someone else.

"I'll… My name is Tank." I stuttered. He nodded, pointing me to where I was to go with the others.

"29TH JUMPER. NAME IS TANK!"


	4. Chapter 4

Amity in me: Part 4

And just like that, I was here. In a cave-like society of Dauntless where everything smelled wet and metal at the same time. There wre structurs that looked old and welded together. And there were things that looked new; newer then I have ever seen. With all the blinking lights and wires sticking out the walls, I felt like I was in a new world. And, in a sense, I was. I walked towards the crowd of new recruits and stood next to Peter. He looked to me, nodded, and turned his attention back to the front. There was a man on a balcony with a few others.

"Welcome to Dauntless new recuits! We are happy that you chose this Faction as your new home. Those of you who where already in the Dauntless Faction, please go to the left. Those of you who are new, go to the right to your new barracks." He said. With that, everyone separated and went to their appropriate spots. I followed behind Peter closely, trying not to get into anyone's way. But it was impossible in this place. The crowd was so big going through a smaller hallway that you couldn't help but bump into others.

Once in the Barracks, someone asked if there was a girl dorm

"You're standing in it. We don't separate here. Get used to it" He said. There were laughs and whistles going on about as everyone looked around. The instructor pointed out a pile of dark clothes.

"Hurry and change into these and follow me." He said. I sighed, making my way to the pile. I wanted to make sure I found something in my size. I glanced around to see that everyone else looked more fit than me, including Peter. The only other bigger girl I was way at least a foot taller than me. She looked at me and laughed with another group of girls.

I easily found a shirt; Men-sized I assume. Pants would be another problem. I couldn't fit men's pants very well. At the dome, my mother had to tailor them for them to fit properly. I found a pair of women pants, but the tall girl from before grabbed them at the same time.

"We can make this a lot easier if you just let them go little girl." She said. She gripped them a bit tighter without looking eye contact with me.

If I was Amity, I would have politely let them go to find a new pair. I would hear the words of my mother saying that Kindness is better than Violence. But I wasn't Amity anymore; and my mother wasn't here anymore. I was just some girl to her with rust colored clothes. I pulled back a bit, smiling.

"I'm sure we are not the same size in the slightest. Besides, these would be too short for someone like you." I stated. She looked back at them and nodded. They would be almost flooding for me. On here, they would be high rise capris. She nodded, letting them go.

"Good point, Little Girl." She said, reaching back into the pile.

I grabbed a pair of shoes and made it back to a vacant bed. Changing would prove to be a challenge, but, since almost everyone was still in the pile, I quickly switched out my clothes and walked to the instructor. The shirt fit a bit loosely, but the pants were perfect. Once everyone finished, we walked to another hall single file to drop off our old clothes. From the hold, we could see they were being burned. It almost felt like it was burning a part of me, a part of my past. I dropped them in without looking. All I could think about was Jenny, Fred, and my mother in the flames. And from there, I imagined the entire dome burning from a wildfire. I clutched onto my shirt and tried to move forward, People bumped into me, scoffing and laughing at me before we made it to the training area. Did I really belong here?

"Come on Gwen. It's time to start our new lives." Said Peter, grabbing my shoulder to pull me forward. I nodded, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Actually, it's Tank now." I said, smiling. I remembered that was my new name. It felt so foreign to say out loud. Is it really mine? Something I could control and call my own? I laughed a bit taking a few steps ahead. It filled me with a new sense of adventure.

"Back at the dome, one of my friends used to call me that. Or rather I was built like a tank for being so serious all the time. "I said. Peter laughed, nodding.

"I can see that. Tank it is then." He said

We made it to the main floor where the leaders were on the balcony to welcome us. From there, they told us what the Dauntless do as a faction and the rigorous test we had to endure.

"Also, we are implementing a new rule. You must keep your ranks up. If you go below the line, you will be cut and be among the Factionless." He announced. Gasps and chatter began among the newbies.

"Why weren't we told that at the beginning?" someone asked, distraught.

"If we had, would you still have joined? The Dauntless Faction is about overcoming your fears, no matter the odds. As long as you do your best, and then some, you will be fine. We are about keeping the best of the best. You start tomorrow. Until then, please make your way to the cafeteria area for dinner. Dismissed."

Whispers erupted through the crowd as we walked to the mess hall. People, who were so happy and excited about their new beginning were now slumping their shoulders. I look over to peter who still had his smug smile on his face. I didn't know how to interpret it; hidden fear or confidence. Either way, he had the right attitude.

"How can you be smiling? Aren't you afraid?" I asked. He only shrugged and walked passed me to the front of the line. I sighed, watching him leave.

In the mess hall, I picked up my tray and headed to an empty table. I see the Dauntless who was at the net, I think his name was Four, on the other side, but I chose to leave him be. I didn't want to bring attention to myself. But once that thought went through my head, a group of newbies sat near me in a group. Four tried to shake them away, especially the girl who jumped first. But she stood her ground.

"You were Amity, weren't you?" Asked the boy in front of me. He was tall with brown hair. I nodded, getting back to my food.

"You're Dauntless now. You might as well forget your past. Your life starts now." Four said before going back to his food. We all looked over to him. It's true, this was our new life. But did we really have to forget everything? I guess with the burning of our clothes, it was a symbol of our new life; like a phoenix being born from the ashes. But Amity was who I was. It was a part of my like my hair color or fingerprint. To take it away doesn't deny its existence. The thought made my heart hurt for a moment. I felt it throb through my shirt and bring tiny tears to my eyes. I whipped them away before anyone could see. I can't let them see my weakness. I didn't know what I was getting into with this Faction, but, like the leader had said, I had to give it my all.

AMITY WAS WHO I WAS. BUT DAUNTLESS IS WHO I AM NOW


	5. Intermission 1

Intermission 1

I want to take this time to thank everyone who reads this fanfic. It's my first one with multiple chapters that I feel very proud of. This is an attempt to really open up my work. I wanted to talk about why I started this fanfic and the direction I want to take this

So, you may notice, this does not follow the books. No, I'm basing this on the movies. I have not read the books, but I do one day. I know it will be different from the movie, but I liked the movie so much that I don't want to mess up my view on it. Maybe when all the movies come out, I can.

I first started writing little snippets of the fanfic with my character, Gwen. They were out of context, but it helped me decide the direction I wanted to go. You can't really tell from how slow the fanfic is progressing. I'm not trying to make a book, but it's kind of turning out that way, isn't it? This was how I build my characters. Throw them in situations and decide how I want them to interact with everyone. It's a fun exercise if you ever want to try it. I will include the little stories at the end or in another intermission.

I honestly need to re-watch the first movie. It's been a bit, but the key parts are still fresh in my head. I'm not going to go over every detail of the movie, but I will hit key points. I want to put my own spin on events and pull the focus away from Tris. My character is an under-the-radar one that still has a voice. I will try and make more OC's for everyone to play off of. I won't be able to write them how they were though, but that's okay.

Okay, so more about me and my process. I write these fanfics in a café in my free time. I tend to finish one chapter at a time and load it up then. I should re-read it better because I am aware of the mistakes. But, again, I'm not writing a book. I'm doing this for me mostly. I'm usually listing to music with brief pauses for YouTube. I'm trying to get better at my writing style, so bear with me please. I write in a very casual tone, which is important to me. I want this to be something you can read and understand. I'm trying more to put scenery in there.

Now, how did I come up with Gwendolyn? Well, my main characters have an aspect of me in there. Or what I want to be, if that makes sense. I wanted her to be strong with weaknesses. She is emotional, in her head, and smart. I wanted her to be like Tris because she embodies the divergent personality, but I want her to be more shy and to herself. She is very caring. She can get along with most people, and fakes it when she can't. She has a great way with words to calm others down or get her out of trouble. She is very goody-goody. Before her test, she had stayed out of trouble. And that can be boring to read. I'm going to put her in more situations where she becomes wrong or corrupted a bit. I'm not sure how. I want her to be a well-rounded character.

She does not belong in Dauntless. If she had not chosen that Faction or stayed in Amity, she would have been in Abnegation. She would have fit in perfectly. In the fanfic, she explained why she chose dauntless; out of fear. And that makes for an interesting story. Not to make it easy for her. She realized what she needed, not what she wanted.

Okay, so I hope that sheds some light on things. I will be making these intermissions from time to time. If you have any questions for me, please ask. I will answer them in the next Intermission. Till then, have a great day!


	6. Chapter 5

Amity in Me: Part 5

I should have known what I was getting into. After seeing how the Dauntless work in the city, I should have known that there would be extensive training. From combat, to guns, to throwing knives, I now understand what it all means. They tell us we are protecting everyone from an evil that no one has seen. I guess it's a necessity.

Peter picked it up quickly. He was always above the line during training while I was flipping back and forth. I guess I was average at everything. If it was just a test without a competition, I would probably be okay. The lingering thought of being among the factionless was in the back of my head. That's what probably kept me going. I wanted to give up sometimes. Having my body take so much strain was not what I was cut out for. I thought of how my mother would be disappointed. That, one day, she would see me with the factionless and think of me as a waste of space or something. That was the other driving force for me. I knew I had to keep at it until I got better.

After the first week, I decided to do extra training. I had lost some weight during all of this. Maybe from the regime or from the lack of eating. But I was awake when everyone was sleeping. Running, fighting, excising. It was after a scrimmage with the tall girl from before. She seemed to remember and smirk with we both stepped on the fighting platform.

"Okay. This will be your first real fight. No rules here. Fight until the other can't go on." Said Eric, one of the Dauntless who were in charge of training.

I nodded, putting my hands up the way they taught us. The girl was still smirking, narrowing her eyes on me. Once it started, I tried to make the first move fast. That was my mistake. She saw it coming and punched me so hard in the head, my ears rang. I stammered away, trying to keep my composure, she moved in, punching me again in the chest.

"Keep your hands up Tank! Defend yourself!" Yelled the trainer.

I was pushed back, near the edge of the fight square. I waited for her to come to me with a heavy swing. Just before it hit, I stepped to the side and saw her moment be used against her. She moved over the square, falling. It wasn't a high up spot, but the fact she fell must have surprised her. I watched her land, bend her ankle on the concert, and then fall backwards. Before anyone could say anything, she yelled, grabbing her ankle.

"What the fuck!? Arggh." she screamed, rolling to her side.

I jumped down to her, trying to pull her hands away.

"Stay still. Let me see!" I shouted.

Everyone began to crowd around the scene. I looked up to see if the medics were here yet, but I hadn't seen anyone. I looked back to her and her ankle. It was swollen and red, but has not misshapen.

"Hold still! It doesn't look broken, just sprained." I said.

I grabbed her shoulders to try and get her up, but she was too much for me to carry.

"Little help guys?" I asked, straining

Other who were around took her arms and got her on her feel. She yelled once her foot touched the floor. It was more swollen then before.

"Let's get her to the medical center." I say, guiding the way.

Once we were in the medical center, they laid her on one of the beds. I removed her shoe and sock slowly, revealing more and more of the damage. Once off, I pressed my hand to it. I felt her wince from the pan, but I pressed on.

"I'm sorry." I said softly, just enough for her to hear me.

She looked down to me, head tilted.

"What for? We were training and-"

"But I still feel responsible. It's not like I wanted this to happen." I said, putting my head down.

I couldn't look her in the eyes. I imagined they would be angry or spiteful. In my head, I ran a scenario that the next time we would fight; she would give it all she had for revenge. And why shouldn't she? It would be a while before she could fight again, but still. Was it enough time for me to get stronger? A week, maybe two if she takes it easy. Would she wait until she was fully healed or would she work through the pain? There was so much in the air that I had to shake my head to stop it from getting to me. I stood up to find an ice pack and wrap. Once found, I carefully wrapped her ankle and placed it on.

"Hey, easy Little Girl." She scoffed, jokingly.

Faced her and smiled. She matched mine, though the sides of her lips twitched. How could she be smiling at me?

"I'm sorry. I'll stay with you until someone comes, okay?" I said, holding her leg up.

"Tank, I said its fine. You did what you should have done. Great job." She said, giving me thumbs up.

"That's the first time you said my name you know. Kind of a weird time to start." I said.

"Yeah. It's even weirder because that's my name as well. Guess we have more in common then we thought, huh?" she said, smirking.

And we laughed. I propped her leg up with extra pillows and sat with her. We talked a bit about our past and why we chose our faction. Thought out the conversation, I saw little flecks of Jenny in her voice. She had the same type of passion as her; the same kind of energy. It was the first time I didn't feel homesick. My heart didn't hurt nearly as much in that moment. I kept repeating in my head that I was home now. With one new friend, I felt like I was where I belonged.

"Did you do this?" Asked one of the medics. He was pointing to her foot that was still bandaged with a new ice pack.

"Yeah. Sorry for going through your stuff. I just wanted to get it wrapped before it swelled too much. I'm about to switch to heat." I said. I began gathering the trash from the supplies and head out until I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Where did you learn this? Aren't you a new transfer?" he asked. I narrowed my eyes, nodding.

"Yes, I am. Name's Tank, Sir. I learned this from… From my past." I said, hesitantly. I didn't know if this guy was anything like Four. They tell us this is our new home now, to forget where we came from. It didn't strike me as difficult until now. How do you answer that kind of question? He seemed to laugh at my nervousness.

"No need to be so formal. My name is Kent. I am the Head Medic for the Dauntless. We are looking for a new Apprentice if you are interested." He said.

And that was the beginning to the rest of my life. My choice here and now has paved my way to everything else. The pain I will endure; the obstacles I will overcome. I feel like this was a pivotal moment that I will never forget.

FROM THIS DAY ON, I BECOME A MEDIC FOR DAUNTLESS!


	7. Chapter 6

Amity in me Part 6

So much has happened since I became a medic for Dauntless. For starters, I began to be well acquainted with the others when they came in for injuries and checkups. Some I began to be close enough to call them friends. Tris, Christina, Big Tank, and Will were some of the regulars; not always for medical reasons. I guess people started to associate me with healing and felt comforted around me. And I didn't mind; it was a nice change from only knowing Peter. I feel like I had followed him around a bit like a lost puppy in the beginning. I hadn't seen him much since either. Once I started hanging out with different people at the dinner table and during practice, he would only come to me when we could be alone.

"What's been up with you lately? You've been acting strange." I mentioned, sitting near the train tracks.

It was the first time in almost 3 weeks that we were able to talk. I had to almost drag him out from his other friends. He was looking down at his swinging feet.

"Nothing. I don't know what you're talking about" He said.

I sighed, shaking my head.

"See!? It's that kind of stuff. You don't seem like the usual you. No smart remarks; no words of encouragement. Did something happen? Did I do something to hurt your feelings?" I asked.

His fists tensed up a bit. He was fighting the urge to say something. I took this time to put my hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off once it came in contact.

"I guess I don't need you anymore. And you don't need me. You're the one that changed." He said

I tilted my head and narrowed my eyes. I wasn't quite sure what he was talking about. With all the time I've been here, I do feel like I've changed, but not toward him. I didn't want to look hurt when he said he didn't need me anymore; I wanted to stay strong.

"I don't understand what-"

"Of course you don't!" He shouted, standing up suddenly

"How could you understand what anyone else has to go through? You think you're so much better than us because you don't have to try like we do! You have no fear of failure anymore since you… Since you started working in the clinic!"

And then, it all made since. You see, because I'm training to be a medic, I no longer have to strive to be above the line. My name was taken off completely, but I still had to go to practice when I can. Some of the others have voiced their opinion on the matter' saying that it was unfair that I was exempt. Eric had explained, very sternly, that I have more use to them as a medic then a fighter. I felt a small sting when he said that, as if I was useless. It didn't stop me from practicing, from staying up at night to train. I didn't want to fall behind everyone else. Tris had stood up for me, commenting that I was still working hard.

"Look at her! She still scrimmages with us! If anything, she has it the hardest." She said

After that, no one had questioned it. When we did have our fights, I Still held my own with my own style of fighting. Eric called it a silly tactic; getting in the line of fire only to use it against my opponent.

"One of these days, you're going to get the full force of their hit. And when you do, I don't think you'll walk away from it." He said.

I was in mid-fight against Jack; a small but fast fighter who had caused me to have a few close calls. Four was standing there as well, laughing.

"She can take a punch Eric. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Besides, she has gotten better." He said.

Eric's shook his head, walking over to another square to watch another fight. Jack put some distance in-between us and began circling me. I tried to pay attention to his footing so I could see where he was planning on attacking. He took a side step to the right, motioning that he was coming closer. I stepped to be in line, but gasped when he moved to the other side and hit me from behind.

"Ahh!" I screamed, taking the punch from behind.

He wasted no time in delivering a kick to my legs, causing me to hit the floor.

"Ha, got you." He said, aiming his next kick to my face.

I reached for his leg and mid-kick and pulled it, feeling a pop. He gripped it and fell to the floor near me. I stood up, put my hands up to prepare for a counter attack, but saw his still on the floor. Eric had heard it and heading back to my ring. I looked up to Four, then to Eric, waiting for instructions.

"Well, finish it. " Eric said.

My eyes widened. This was the farthest I've ever been. Usually, once the person was unable to fight, we stop. But no one was holding up their hands or attending to him.

"But, I felt his leg dislocate. He can't fight anymore." I said

Eric shook his head.

"He can still fight. This is life or death Lil Tank. You have to use this moment to your advantage. It doesn't end until he is dead or unconscious. Finish it." He said.

Four looked at me and nodded. I looked back down to Jack who was still grabbing his leg. Everyone had stopped what they were doing to look at my area. This was the first time this rule was made. I have never done anything like this. Usually our fights ended when they were injured or couldn't stand up anymore. This was both. My heart began to race as my eyes darted around the room. What could I do? Eric still hasn't looked away from me with his hands crossed.

"I… I can't." I said, lowering my arms.

I walk over to Jack and offer him a hand.

"I'll take you to the infirmary. Just hook your arm-"

"You will not. You better finish what you started or you will be cut." He said

Everyone gasped and looked around, talking amongst themselves. A ringing sound came to my ear; like when Big Tank had hit me in the head the first time. It was a sound I couldn't stand. I covered my ears and stepped away. It was him or me… Who was he to me? I've seen in the clinic before, but it wasn't that we were friends. I owned him nothing. He was not worth becoming Factionless. With that single thought, I did something I never thought I would have to do. I kicked him so hard that his body went limp. It was sudden, but I could feel each movement as if it was an hour each. His face was sweaty against my bare foot; his head turned once I followed my kick through. I fell to the floor, reaching for his neck to check for a pulse. It was there, barely. I looked up to Eric with tears in my eyes.

"Alright. Take him to the clinic. Lil Tank; take care of him." He said and walked away.

I didn't hear him. I watched as they took his body in a stretcher, still on my knees. There was this feeling building up in my stomach. It was a mixture of disgust, anger, and pure sadness.

THIS WAS WHAT IT WAS MSENAT TO BE A DAUNTLESS?


	8. Chapter 7

Amity in Me: Part 7

And, in a flash, I was back to talking with Peter as if no time has passed. He had a point; I had changed. Before I was much more trusting of the Dauntless team. I had felt as though they would protect me, but right now, it was them that I needed to fear. Would my next scrimmage be my last? Would I end up in the clinic as a patient instead of a Medic? What if I had to fight a friend? Peter, Tris, Christina, or Big Tank… Could I go through with it as easily as I did the last one?

"You see, we all changed. In this place, you either eat or be eaten. Friendship doesn't mean much anymore. "He said, standing up.

I froze. I could have grabbed his arm to keep him next to me. We could have talked it all out, maybe find some type of closure as friends. But I didn't; because he was absolutely right. I could feel the idea creep up onto me every night right before I shut my eyes. The thought of fighting against someone I chose to let into my world; watching as you cause the light to go out for a moment. It was insanity. And this insanity was my new life.

"Tank? Is something wrong?" asked Tris.

I hadn't noticed how long I was sitting on the train tracks in my own thoughts. Tris had sat next to me with a worried look on her face. I shook my head, not facing her.

"I don't know what I'm doing here." I said, sadly.

There was no lift in my voice at all. No hints of humor or confidence. Tris put her hand on my shoulder and grasped it firmly.

"We are here to protect Chicago. We are the first line of defense against what's outside the walls. This is the life we chose." She said, dutifully.

I remember her as the girl struggling to climb up the rails to the train our first day. She was so frail that time; I didn't know if she would last here. But looking at her now, you wouldn't think she was the same person. She grew into such a strong determined woman that I couldn't help but smile around her. But not now. Now, I was stuck in the funk of my own creation.

"I know that Tris. It's just… You ever get the feeling that you don't belong here?" I asked.

Now I faced her, turning my whole body to her. She stiffened her hand as it brushed off me. Was there hesitation? Could she possibly feel the same way I did?

"Sometimes. When things get tough, I wonder if I had made the right choice. But then, I see what I've accomplished in our short time here and I shake off that feeling. I mean, look at us." She said, widening her arms.

She motioned the surrounding area and pointed to the fighting platforms. Everyone else was doing their training. Christina was fighting Big Tank, and losing. We both looked at each other and walked over to the scene. She was knocked off the space and putting her hands up.

"No more, I forfeit." She said in between gasps.

Her nose and lip was bleeding. Big tank was at the corner, ready to keep going. Eric, who was watching, walked over to Christina, helping her up.

"Here. Let's get you up." He said, kindly.

Something was off. When it was me, he was cold. He demanded I keep going, despite the reason. When she was on her feet, he walked her over to where Tris and I were talking. Curiosity got the better of everyone not fighting and they followed. Once at the train tracks, we saw him do the unthinkable. With one quick push, she was over the end, being held up by him.

"Grab the rail or you will fall." He said

Christina's eyes widened, looking at everyone frantically. He repeated himself, louder, and began removing his grip. She used her other hand to grab the rail and he let go. She was hanging, screaming for him to help her back up.

"You will hang there." He said, turning to everyone else.

"Listen up rookies. This is how it works now. You will fight until you can no longer fight. Whatever is beyond that wall will not give up until you are dead. You have to give it your all here. No yielding, no mercy. When you understand that, you will understand what it means to be a Dauntless." He shouted.

Christina was still hanging, re-gripping the edge, but still sliding a bit. He crouched down to her.

"You will have to learn this the hard was." HE said.

He stood in front of her so that none of us could help. It took every ounce of energy I had to not run to her. To push him aside the way he did her and grab her. She was too tired and beat up to lift herself up.

We stood there for almost a minute when he stepped away.

"Get her out of here." He said, walking back to the practice area.

Almost immediately, two guys rushed over to her to grab her and helped her up. She was out of breath and crying frantically.

"Bring her to the clinic. I'll meet you there." I said.

They nodded, keeping her up. I looked to Eric, angrily. I was aware that he was my superior and that, if I voice my frustration, he could have me kicked out into the Factionless. But I couldn't keep to myself. I stiffly walked to him, but was stopped by Tris.

"Don't. You can't." She warned.

I jerked my hand away.

"I don't care. He can't do this!" I said.

Tris grabbed me again, more firmly. Peter had stepped in front of me.

"Let me go!" I shouted.

Peter put both hands on my shoulder and looked me directly in the eyes.

"Right now, you have to help Christina. Save it for another day Tank. "He said.

My body slumped. He was right, again. It felt like a complete 180 on his part. He had been so rude to me earlier, that the fact that he was offering encouraging advice threw me off guard. Tris let go of me and took my hand.

"Come on. We can go together." She suggested.

I nodded, walking slowly to the clinic. When I passed Eric, I gave him a dirty look to show my disapproval. He took that time to smirk at me before instructing the fighters to keep their hands up. I was defeated; I knew that. I collected my thoughts, took a deep breathe, and marches on to the clinic. I wanted to cry; to scream about how absurd this all was. But I didn't. I made a choice from then on. Something that will stick with me and define who I was. I was a Tank!

AND I WILL NEVER LET THEM SEE ME CRY


	9. Chapter 8

Amity in Me: Part 8

Time had passed. With more scrimmages ending with more trainees in the clinic. I didn't have much time to practice anymore with all the new patience we had. It was almost depressing seeing everyone coming in with black eyes, broken bones, or bleeding. It became more and more obvious how serious this was; how hard we needed to train to protect Chicago. Tris was in the clinic quite often, usually passed out and bruised. But she was a fighter; I could see it in her eyes. She was determined to get her name back above the line.

The more I spoke with Tris, the more I saw how similar we were. Both of us had come from a more peaceful background and struggled to get out footing in our new home. But we both proved everyone wrong. We were making strides far longer than anyone else; we had to. We were leagues away from everyone.

I remember when she had come into the clinic after training with Peter. They had both came in at the same time, but she was uncurious. After I tended to her bruises and checked for broken bones, I turned my attention to Peter, who was sitting up on one of the beds.

"I see she got you pretty good." I say, pouring some antiseptic onto a cotton ball.

He scoffed, touching his nose and looking at the blood that had collected on his finger.

"Yeah, but I won. That's what really matters. I don't think she's going to make it above the line." He said.

I nodded, looking back at her. She was wrapped in a blanket, breathing softly. I sighed, looking down. It hurt to think she might have to turn away to the factionless; she was trying so hard.

"I hope she can pull through. She's a tough one." I said, running the cotton ball over his scratches.

He winced at the stinging of the medicine. I laughed, putting more on another cotton ball.

"But congrats Peter. I'm glad you're making it through." I said, forcing a smile.

He couldn't tell it was forced. His face had lit up.

"Of course! I'm tough! But after hearing what happened to her before makes me think she's pretty tough too." He said

I remember. It was a situation with her and a group of others. When she was above the line, they came and tried to push her over one of the cliffs. I had heard that one of them was Al, a friend of hers. But when he was discovered, and she chose not to forgive her, he had stepped off the edge. I remember seeing his body, bleeding and twisted. The though made he shudder. To think, someone being that desperate.

"Yeah. She's gonna make it. I can feel it." I said, putting bandages on his wounds.

And with that, we never so=poke of it again. He told me about his other fights he had that week and I tried to laugh and enjoy his victories. But, on the inside, I was torn. Both from Tris and what Eric had said. No mercy.

And then, it happened. Tris had her last battle with Big Tank and lost. She had come into the clinic again, passed out. Big tank left the scrimmage, unscratched and sweating. She walked with the medics to the clinic.

"I'm sorry Lil Tank. I had to. She would have-"

"I know. It's okay. Good Job. I'm glad you made it to the next stage. "I said.

She narrowed her eyes. I went over to Tris, checking her pulse and checking for broken bones again. Tank put a hand on my shoulder.

"She won't make it to the next round you know. She is below the line." She warned.

I only nodded, not looking at her. O dressed Tris' wounds and made her comfortable.

"Yeah. I know. Today was the last day." I said, sighing.

"I'll see you at the shooting event tomorrow, right?" She asked

I nodded, taking my tray of supplies back to the cabinet. Big Tank took this time to leave, but not before coming behind me and giving me a hug.

"It's going to be okay." She said, leaving.

I sighed. I didn't know anymore. Christina, Peter, and Will had made it above the line to the next stage, so I should be happy. But I feel like I was leaving a dear friend behind. Tris was like a mixture of Jenny and Fred. People that I had been so close to and had the luxury of calling friend. And now, she'll be gone. Maybe I'd see her around with the other Factionless. I wouldn't be able to talk to her or go near her though. And I think that's what made it worse. That I had to see her in that way; this person I felt was so strong. If she couldn't make it, could I? If I was not a medic, would I be below the line with her?

The next day, I boarded the train to the shooting event. I didn't get a lot of sleep that night; being too worried about Tris. She had woken up this morning, wondering where she was. Christina and Will delivered the bad news to her and bided their goodbye. I couldn't bring myself to say anything. We shared a quick look before we had to get ready. Tris looked exhausted, like she had been running for her life. And in a way, she had. But she just missed her exit.

Then, in the corner of my eye, I see her. Running along the train, trying to get on. It was unbelievable. I blinked my eyes and looked forward, thinking it was a dream. But when I saw Four reach for her hand and bring her in, I knew that it wasn't. When Eric saw her, he smirked.

"And who let you on?" He asked, stepping to her.

She glanced at Four for a moment before answering, "No one. I get myself up."

Eric looked around and shrugged.

"Alright then. Here are the rules." He started.

And while he was going through everything, I looked at her and smiled. That was the Tris I knew. Then one that was so determined to be the best she can be and didn't take no for an answer. That was what it meant to be Dauntless; Fearless

AND I KNEW THAT THAT IS WHEN I WANTED TO BE; JUST LIKE HER


	10. Intermission 2

INTERMISSION # 2

Hello again. Time for another Intermission. I just uploaded the 8th part to the fanfic. I have gotten some great reviews and messages on it. It was enough to make me want to keep writing! Though I vowed to do this for me, it's nice to see other people enjoy it

Now, no one sent me any questions, so I'm gonna go over some stuff I've been thinking about. Firstly, I want to point out that I will not be going into detail about the shooting even. The catputre the flag part in the movie. I feel like that would mostly be focusing on Tris and I want to shy away from that. You will see in the future why I chose not to [FORSHADOWING!]

I will probably be making the fear part only one chapter. I know it's a very important part, but again, that is another Tris moment. Four will be with her mostly and I don't want to change that. I'm still putting together what he fears will be. I will put in one of mine just to give it more realism. Any other suggestions? I'm open to feedback

Gwen, or Lil Tank, has changed since we last talked. After writing the part with the original Tank, I realized that they had the same name. That was bad planning on my part. I don't think they ever said her name in the movie. So I played it off. Made her Lil Tank and the other Big Tank. Though, not many people call them that. Her friends, for the most part, will call her Tank. Instructors, so that they can tell the different, put the Big or Lil part in it.

The change in Gwen's character was to give her less goody goody qualities. To she has anger and fear and can worry. You can be kind and still hold those other emotions. I also made it so she had less training because… I'm not good at writing those parts. By taking her out the ranking, I don't have to focus on that. I feel like if she wasn't part of the medic parts, she should become Factionless. She would not have won her fights the same way. She would become afraid to fight for a while until the fight or flight senses kicked in and she became more ruthless. Going for harder punches and really trying to knock out her opponent. But I didn't want her to be that angry. I think it all equals out in the end. And it will help develop her for how she will be in the future [MORE FORSHADOWING!]

I think a lot about how she will be in the future. How she becomes more mature. He and Tris will be different yet the same as the story goes. It shows my feelings toward Tris as a character. Honestly, not a huge fan of her, but she grew on me. I have this strange dislike for female characters, but she was different. She wasn't expecting people to save her. She wasn't this great fighter in the beginning either. She worked hard and failed, but still rung through. I like that. Still, there are things about her I don't like, especially in the last Allegiant move [WORST ONE OUT OF THE BUNCH] I'm still excited to see how it all ends in the last movie though. Gotta see it through

I can't wait to talk about love interests. It was hard to pinpoint who it was going to be. At one point, it was going to be Al. But I knew that I couldn't have them fall for each other and then have him kill himself. That would put a sour mood on Gwen, which isn't good. Eric was a possibility. Be to her like Four was to Tris. Giving Gwen special training and being nicer to her. But I didn't want a copycat relationship. And it won't be a made up character either.

So, look forward to the future Chapters. Again, if you have any questions for me about anything, please feel free to ask. Even if it's about the plot. You can ask specific question and I will answer, spoiling it for you. I don't mind doing that. But it might change if it's something in the distant future. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you guys have a great day!


	11. Chapter 9

Amity in Me: Part 9

Fears. It's something we all have. There is no way of erasing them or denying their existence. The next part of the process was to overcome them; not let them overtake us. When they first talked about it, it seemed brilliant in a way. They recognize that we are human and that fear is what keeps us safe. But to face all of them head on was what really scared me. Firstly, I didn't know what my fears would be exactly. It's not something I think about or have to deal with on a regular basis, so to have them in the light for someone to see made me nervous.

We were sent into a room, one by one. Inside was a chair and a table. Four was there, getting everything set up.

"Take a seat there." He said, sternly.

I did as he said, sighing as the coldness touched my skin. He turned to me with a syringe and placed it to my neck.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"Yeah."

And with that, I closed my eyes. I felt the needle go in, and opened my eyes. I was home. Not at Dauntless, but at the dome. Everything looked as if I never left. I couldn't help but smile, thinking that all that I had been through was just a bad dream. I laughed, running my hands through my hair. But, once I did, everyone looked at me. Instead of their normarl happy faces, beaming with delight, they all looked like I was a monster. Everyone walked closer to me until I was surrounded. I could head whispers through the crowd; people saying things like "traitor" or "discraceful". My heart sank. I put my hand to my chest, feeling the jacket I had acquired from Dauntless on me. And then, I remembered what was going on.

My mother stepped through the crowd, looking me dead in the eyes.

"What are you doing here? You don't belong here anymore." She said, coldly.

I took a step back, fighting back the tears.

"But I'm your daughter. You said-"

"Not anymore. You're an embarrassment at best. I'm so disappointed in you Tank." she stated.

I froze. My eyes scanned the crowd seeing everyone I knew and loved. Jenny and Fred were standing next to each other, shaking their head. I shook my head, trying to wake up.

"No! I did this for you! To protect you all!" I shouted

And then, I began to see faces or the Dauntless I had come to know. Eric, Peter, Four, Tris, Big Tank, and Kevin. They were giving me the same look.

"I'm surprised you're still here. I always thought you were weak." Eric scoffed.

"You don't belong anywhere." Peter said, laughing.

Everyone started to laugh on cue. The noise rang in my ears. I fell to my knees, clutching my ears. It was so much; so loud. I couldn't think or breathe. My entire body just shut down, leaving me paralyzed but plaugued by the noise.

"NO! STOP!" I screamed.

I shot up from the chair, sweating and panting. Four rushed over and grabbed my shoulder.

" Tank! Hey, it's over. It's okay." He assured.

I couldn't hear him. All I could hear was the laughing growing louder and louder. I went limp in his arms, crying.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please make it stop." I sobbed.

He waited until I stopped crying to escort me out the room. My face was a mess, my head hurt, and my energy was zapped. I walked past everyone else, not looking at them at all. I could feel the whispers going around, but I didn't care. I wanted out of that place as soon as I could. When I did look up, Tris was right there. She looked so concerned. But, I will never know if she cared about me or her own fears. Would she be strong enough?

WAS I STRONG ENOUGH TO BE DUANTLESS?


	12. Intermission 3

Intermission #3

I know I just wrote one of these, but I want to explain my absence. My computer has crashed, so I had no way of typing this up the way I wanted to. Since I only used my computer for typing, it was hard for me to justify buying a new one. Eventually, I found a good used one to use that fits what I need. So here we are.

Now, to talk about Gwen's fears. I had written down what they were before I even thought about typing this up, but I lost the paper it was on. So, I had to come up with something on the fly. The first one you see in the fanfic is fear of being a disappointment. That was tough to type up. It's kind of a real fear of mine. Not being good enough and everyone you know turning their backs on you because of it. It's an irrational fear; no one is real life that is worth knowing will leave you because you don't measure up.

The next one was loud noises. I don't know if that was very obvious in the story. Loud noises can paralyze Gwen because it makes her stop thinking. And by doing that, it scares her. She doesn't like the notion that she can't constantly be thinking. Her thoughts were the only thing she could control; the only thing that was hers. So, to lose that, makes her feel empty.

Now, how will she overcome those two obstacles? That's what the next chapter will be about.

Thanks for sticking with me. This new computer is a netbook, so there might be some typos. I don't like to re-read what I write. It causes me to re-do parts. I like to free-write. Say what I'm thinking in the moment. I will use the spell checker, but anything else will stay. I hope it's not too hard to read!

Have a great day


	13. Chapter 10

Amity in Me: Part 10

If someone had came up to me and asked if I knew the definition of Hell, I would only nod. Hell wasn't only facing your fear; it was being surrounded in them all at one time and expected to make the right choices on how to deal with them. The fears that you never thought of; the little demons in the back of your mind that finally get to play. Four was there to give advice, but it was all up to me. Each time was longer than the last in that little room. And every time, I left exhausted and defeated.

Today was the last day for practice. Four had sat me down in the chair and sighed.

"You need to fight your fears Lil Tank. If you're going to make it, you have to fight. He said, prepping the needle.

I nodded, taking a deep breath. With that, he gave me the shot in my neck, and I closed my eyes. When I opened them, slowly, I was back to where I was the first time. I was at the dome with everyone around me. I had tried to run from them as fast as I could, but they all caught up to me, every time. I couldn't block out their whispers either. If I tried, the loud ringing would grow until I couldn't take it and woke back up. This time, I tried something new. When they began surrounding me, I looked them in the eyes. I glanced at as many as I could, determined that they wouldn't get to me. When the whispers started, I didn't cover my ears.

"This is who I am!" I shouted, clinching my fist beside me.

"A failure!" someone said.

"No! My name is Lil Tank. This is who I became to be stronger. To protect those I care about. To fight for those who can't. I made this choice and I stand behind it. I am stronger. I am important. I am enough." I said.

My mother broke through the crowd like she usually did. She still looked at me with disgust.

"You are not my daughter." She said

"If who I am today means I'm not your daughter, then fine. I don't need you to keep me safe. I don't need your title or your guidance anymore. I made a place for myself." I said.

With that, she had done something that was new; she smiled. She laughed a bit and shook her head. But it wasn't because she denied me. She understood.

"Then be the best you that you can be Gwendolyn. I am so proud of you." She said.

The crowd began to dissipate. One by one, everyone's expression changed to a smile and they walked away. My heart, which had been beating so fast, began to calm. This was what I had to do: stick up for myself. I sighed, sinking to the floor. I closed my eyes, trying not to cry. When they opened, I thought I would be back in that little room with Four congratulating me. But I was, instead, put in the middle of town. Everyone was buzzing around, doing what they needed to do. I was confused, but began to walk. Then, out of no where, a siren went off. I felt like it was right next to me, but when I turned, there wasn't anything of the sort. The sound was more intense then before. I reached for my ears, trying to block it out, but that only make it worse.

"How can I stop this?" I asked.

I ran around, trying to find the source. In a bush, behind a building, anywhere. But I couldn't. And what was making it weirder was that, no one was affected by t. They just walked around like it was nothing. I took my hands off my ears and stood with my head in the ear. Maybe it was like the last fear and I had to just endure it. My thoughts were still being jumbled, but I didn't falter. The noise began to click in and out, as if trying to disorient me. It did, but I didn't let it show. I walked to where the trains were that picked me up on my first day as a Dauntless. I slowly climbed the beams to the tracks and waited for the train. I heard it coming, only adding more noise to the mess. My legs began to grow weak, but I began running. I ran and tried to make my mind go blank. I stopped thinking about if I was going to catch it. Stopped thinking about failing. Stopped thinking about how everyone else was doing. I focused on the task at hand: getting on that train. When I reached out my hand to grab the rails, I stumbled on a rock. At that moment. The sound slammed into my head like a brick. I wanted to let it win and slump to the floor. But I couldn't. This was my last chance to concur this. So I pushed harder then I ever had. My breath was ragged. My eyes began to burn from all the sweat dripping down my face. My whole body ached, but I didn't stop. I fixed my eyes on the rail and, with the last of my energy, I grabbed it. I swung myself into the train and fell to the floor. The sirens stopped right there. All that I could hear was the train going over the tracks and my own hoarse laughter. I closed my eyes and awoke sitting in that chair in the little room. Four put his hand on my shoulder, smiling.

"Good Job Lil Tank. " He said.

Knew I had to do that one last tie for the final test, but I had passed the trials. I knew that, as long as I did what I did, I would pass. I would be finished with the simulation.

I WOULD BECOME A DAUNTLESS!


	14. Chapter 11

Amity in Me: Part 11

It felt nice to get back to the way things were. We were back in the caves training like nothing had happened. Of course, something did. Since those fear tests, Tank has not been the same way. I hadn't had the chance to talk with her, but I saw from the look on her face that she was shaken up. She held herself when she walked and averted eye contact with anyone, even me. She ended up in the clinic more then she use to, which was concerning. Again, never speaking a word. I treated her wounds and let her be.

Tris wasn't in there as much. It's funny; it's as if they had switched places. I still would find her training after hours when I tried to get some work done. We would talk about the fear simulator and laugh at how silly they were.

"I mean, it was birds!" She said, laughing.

"Birds? Well, how did you face them? You were always in and out so quickly, so I assume it was easy." I asked.

"Using a branch to swing at them. I don't know; it was all kind of silly." She said

I nodded, standing up. I went over to the punching bag and got into my stance. The first few hits were rather light, but I made sure they hit the target. Once I got into the rhythm, I could hit hard and fast without missing a beat.

"What about you? What was your fear?" she asked.

She was next to me, stretching her arms. I guess it's weird for me to ask her what hers were and not tell her mine.

"Well, one of them was loud noises. I don't know… It was like something that kept scrambling my brain. First, it was like laughter. Everyone I ever knew just started laughing. It kept getting louder and louder until… Until I woke up crying. Did you cry?" I asked.

I had stopped with the punching bag and looked at her. She was still stretching, but as looking at me.

"I… I don't think so." She said

I shrugged, but the though was still in the back of my head. Was I weak to cry? Should I ask anyone else how they felt? No one really talked about it while training. We all just pretend it didn't happen.

Suddenly, we see Peter walk over to us. I knew him and Tris did not get along; she wasn't a fan of his arrogance. And that's fair. If you took away all that we've been through, I don't think I would have been friends with him. Granted, we were not as close as we were before, but I didn't hate him. He smirked as he passes us.

"Getting some well needed training in today Stiff?" He asked.

Tris winced a bit. I noticed her face changed once he came in. I turned to him, frowning.

"Why are you always on her like that? What did she ever do to you? Besides beat you at knife throwing today." I said, nudging Tris a bit.

We both laughed a bit before standing up. Peter scoffed, walking to the punching bag that I was at. Earlier today, we were all practicing knife throwing again. Tris excels at it, so Peter brought it upon himself to challenge her in front of everyone. Four, who was training us that day, set up the targets.

"Okay. Let's see who can hit the center of the head. The closest throw wins." He said, making the spot with a marker.

Peter threw first. I will admit; he throws harder then Tris, having his knife sink into the target farther. His knife was an inch from the mark. Everyone cheered as he turned to her, smiling.

"Beat that, Stiff" He mocked, folding his hands.

Tris shook her head, stretching a bit. With one swift throw, she hit the spot perfectly. The room fell silent. Even Four didn't have anything to say.

"I think I just did." She said.

Peter's eyes widen. He walked to the target and pulled his knife out and walked away.

"Just a lucky throw." He murmured

Now, as me and Tris were readying ourselves for a scrimmage, we could feel his eyes on us. I shook it off, putting my hands up.

"Ready? I asked.

She nodded, circling the ring. This wasn't the first time we had practiced. Though, we made a rule to use open hands and not to deal strong blows. We didn't want to injure ourselves. We just needed technique practice. Peter walked over to us and sat down outside the ring. Tris put her hands down.

"Can we help you?" She asked.

Peter, sitting cross legged, shook his head. I sighed, turning my attention back to Tris.

"Ignore him Tris. Let's do what we came to do." I said.

With that, we began. By now, I was aware of how Tris fought. She was smaller and fast, catching me off track often. She knew I was slow, but powerful. She was the first to strike, hitting me in the ribs and then in the back. She put some distance between us, circling a bit again. It pretty much started out that way every time. When she came back in, lunging to strike her before she made it to me. I hit her arm, countering her attack.

"You're getting faster." She mentioned.

I laughed.

"Maybe you're getting slower?" I asked.

I went to her, zigzagging my steps to throw her off. She calculated my movements, getting out my way and whirling to behind me. With a few strikes, I was pushed off balance and fell.

"Maybe not." I said.

She walks over to help me up. Peter clapped, standing up and walking toward us.

"I guess it's easy fighting someone you've fought for a while. Why not try me?" he asked

Tris tilted her head.

"I mean, if you want to but-"

"No, not you. Tank." He interrupted, turning to me.

I wiped the sweat off my forehead.

"Me? Why?" I asked.

"We're friends, aren't we? Let's make this a friendly fight." He said

I glanced to Tris who shrugged. We both weren't expecting him to want to.

"Alright. Open hand though. Nothing too hard; Want you to be able to walk tomorrow morning." I said, smiling.

He laughed, walking to the other side of the ring.

"Alright. Ready when you are." He teased.

I haven't fought with Peter before; but I've seen him practice. We had similar techniques; Strong punches. But he had a habit of telegraphing when he would attack. Other then that, I had no idea how this would end. He didn't circle the ring as much as Tris; so calculating his steps proved to be a bit easier. But he didn't go for the sides or back like she did. After a moment of assessing each other, he moved in for an attack. His face changed slightly as he did, letting me know to move out the way a bit. But he also knew I would, so he changed his angle to strike me in the face, closed fisted. The blow made my head jerk to the side, spewing a few drops of blood on the floor. Tris started to come between us.

"What the fuck Peter! We said to use your-"

"It's okay Tris. I got this." I said.

My head was still down. I wiped my mouth, marveling at the blood. I smiled a bit.

"You wanna play rough; let's play rough." I said.

Then, unexpectedly, I darted to his side. Instead of hitting him in the ribs, I aimed lower, on his calf. With a hard hit there, he staggered. But he didn't let that get him down. While I was lifting myself, he hit my chest. I flew back and held my chest. The pain began to radiate though my body, but I ignored it. I began to breathe harder, making him run to me to deliver another hit. Like I always do, I stand in line with it, but decided to cancel it with a punch to his arm. When it made contact, I felt it go a bit limp. With that, I knew his blows wouldn't be as fast or hard. While he was reacting to that hit, I came in and hit the same leg I did last time. With that, his knee hit the floor. He wasn't done. I could see it in his eyes when he looked up.

"I see you're been learning." He said.

"I see you've been paying attention." I said.

If this was Tris, I would put some distance between us. But, with him, that only gave him more momentum and power with his hits. I chose to keep close. While he was struggling to get up, I took this time to kick him in the head, but he grabbed my leg before I Could, sending me to the floor. He began to kneel above me, grabbing my hands and keeping them down.

"DO you give up?" He asked.

I began fighting in his grasp, but not letting him know my legs were still free. I shook my head, but kept my eyes closed with a defeated look on my face. He laughed.

"What else can you do? You lost." He said.

I clinched my body and made a swift kick in between his legs. He grunted loudly and rolled off of me.

"I don't think so." I said.

Tris re-entered the ring.

"You okay Tank?" She asked.

I nodded. I walked over to Peter who was still on the floor, squirming.

"Hey. Good job." I said, taking my hand out to help him up.

He sighed, taking it and getting up. He distant him self off, wincing at the pain.

"Yeah Yeah. I went easy on you." He said, winking.

I pushed him a bit.

"Just can't admit defeat, huh?"

"Nope. The Dauntless in me refusing to surrender!" he said, raising his fist in the arm.

The strain made him retract it quickly.

"Come on. Let's get some ice on that. Hey Tris, let's call it a night, okay?" I said.

Back at the clinic, I look for the ice packs while Peter sits on a bed. His head was down as he held his arm.

"Is she your new best friend?" HE asked quietly.

"She's one of them. This doesn't change our friendship though. Here, put this on it." I said, tossing him the pack.

I sat next to him. I put my arm on his shoulder, sighing.

"You just need to relax some. I know that this place makes us hard, but we don't have to be so hard on each other, you know? We aren't your enemy." I said

"I know. I just want to be the best, you know?"

"I know. I admire your passion, but you just need to do the best you can do. Forget about everyone else." I said.

We sat for a bit longer in silence before he stood up.

"I promise I'll never do anything to hurt you." HE said, walking out the room.

I stayed, staring at the wall. That was the first time anyone has said that to me. In this place full of violence and power, everyone was looking out for them. And that's important. I came here to keep myself and everyone I loved back at Amity safe. But, knowing someone was watching out for me was new. It was comforting in a sense. A smile had appeared on my face. Was this what they meant when people talk about home in a new place?

COULD DAUNTLESS REALLY BE MY NEW HOME?


End file.
